鑽石舞台｜痞客邦

Dec 04 Sun 2022 07:00
ONE字幕組 - 別瞎擔心，沒有人會真正在乎你

我們來到人間伊始：身邊圍着一群人，他們對我們的關心超乎尋常，且以最溫柔最關心的眼神注視着我們，對我們噓寒問暖。但長大後，我們踏入可怕的現實：我們生活的世界，冷漠到令人顫抖，沒有人在乎我們的所在、所想、所說和所做。沒有一個路人會好奇我們的一絲一毫，在這個更廣闊的宇宙中，我們只是微不足道的一粒塵埃。

中英文本

We tend to begin our lives with a deeply unrepresentative experience: that of being surrounded by people who care to an extraordinary extent about us. We look up from the dreams and confusions of early infancy and may find a smiling face or two observing us with the utmost tenderness and concern. They watch us as a rivulet of saliva leaks slowly from the corner of our mouth and rush to wipe it away as if dabbing at a precious canvas, then indulgently stroke the fine soft hairs on our delicate scalps. They declare us close to supernatural when, at last, we succeed in pulling our first smile. The applause rings for days when we take our initial steps, giggle, totter, fall, and bravely try to resume our progress.

我們人類常常是以一段極其不具代表性的體驗來到了人間：身邊圍着一群人，他們對我們的關心超乎尋常。生命伊始，我們在懵懂中睜開雙眼，悄然發現一兩張笑臉，正以最溫柔最關懷的眼神注視着我們。他們照看着我們，一旦口水從嘴角流出，他們就會迅速擦拭，輕柔的動作就好像擦拭着名貴的畫作，然後輕輕地撫摸我們嬌嫩頭皮上的細軟毛髮。當我們最終成功露出第一個笑容時，他們就會表現得不可思議。當我們邁出第一步，能咯咯笑，會蹣跚學步，然後摔倒，並且再次非常勇敢地繼續所取得的進步，他們的鼓勵會持續好幾天。

It isn’t just at home. At school, the best teachers encourage us when we find something difficult; they understand we might be shy; they’re keen to detect and encourage the early, tentative signs of our particular talents.

不僅是在家如此關心我們。在學校，當我們遇到困難時，最好的老師們也會鼓勵我們。老師們理解我們可能會羞怯。他們熱衷於發現並且鼓勵那些，展現我們嬰兒時期特殊才能的、試探性的行為表現。

Then, of course, we grow up and we’re inducted into a horrific reality: we exist in a world of astonishing indifference to almost everything we are, think, say or do. We might be in late adolescence when the point really hits home. We might be in a bedsit at university or wandering the streets of the city at night on our own – when it occurs to us, with full force, how negligible a thing we are in the wider scheme. No one in the crowds we pass knows anything about us. Our welfare is of no concern to them. They jostle against us on the pavements and treat us as a mere impediment to their progress. We’re tiny against the towersand brightly-lit flashing advertising hoardings. We might die and no one would even notice.

當然，之後我們長大了，踏進了可怕的現實社會：我們生活的世界，冷漠到令人顫抖，沒有人在乎我們的所在、所想、所說和所做。我們可能在青春期後期才真正幡然醒悟，被擊中要害。我們可能是在大學宿舍里，或者晚上獨自一人在街上閒逛，我們才會突然徹底醒悟到，在這個更廣闊的宇宙中我們是多麼微不足道。沒有一個路人知道關於我們的一絲一毫，我們的幸福與他們無關，在人行道上我們與他們摩肩擦踵，卻被他們當作是行走路上的攔路虎，相較於高聳林立的塔樓和光怪陸離的廣告牌，我們是多麼渺小，可能到死也沒有人理會我們。

It may be a stern truth – but we make it all the more so by focusing only on its darkest dimensions. We remain grief-stricken by how invisible we are, yetwe cease to put this bracingthought to its proper philosophical purpose, that of rescuing us from another problem which is gnawing at us all the while: an ongoing and highly corrosive senseof self-consciousness.

這些事實多麼殘酷，但如果我們只關注最黑暗的維度，則會更殘酷。我們仍會對自己活得就像個隱形人而感到悲傷，除非我們能矯正這種消極思維，並能夠處亂不驚，我們就能從折磨我們已久的不正確的自我意識中解脫：這種自我意識長期存在且具有高度腐蝕性。

In another side of our minds, we haven’t accepted the indifference of others at all, in fact, we know, and suffer intensely, from just how much (as we feel sure) others are thinking of us. We’re extremely worried about how high-pitched and odd our voice sounded when we asked the waiter for a bit more milk. We’re certain that the sales attendant noticed how out of shape our stomach is. The people in the restaurant where we’re eating alone are undoubtedly spending considerable time wondering why we have no friends. At work, they’re still dwelling on that slightly stupid thing we said last month about the US sales strategy. A person we went to bed with four years ago is to this day thinking ill of us in some powerful but undefined way.

而在我們大腦的另一側，我們還未能真正接受別人的漠不關心，而實際上我們不僅意識到了，還受到別人對我們的看法(自以為是的)的深深傷害。當我們請求服務員給牛奶續杯時，我們會很擔心自己的聲音太高昂，或者聲音太難聽。我們也很確定買衣服時，售貨員一定注意到了我們肥凸的肚子。當我們獨自用餐時，餐廳里的人一定很長時間都在討論為什麼我們沒有朋友。工作時，同事還在念叨上個月我提出的那個愚蠢的美國銷售方案。我們四年前的交往對象，仍然在以一種能感受到卻捉摸不透的方式，恨着我們。

We don’t really have any evidence for this, and yet it can feel like an emotional certainty. It can feel intuitively clear that our foolishness and less-than-impressive sidesare being noted and dwelt on all the time by everyone at large. Every way in which we depart from what the world considers to be normal, upstanding and dignified has been registered by the widest constituency.

我們沒有任何實際證據證明別人在關注我們，但情感上卻堅信別人一定會關注。我們能憑直覺感受到，所有人都在注意和關注着我們的愚蠢與平平無奇，所有人一直廣泛關注着我們身上背離正常社會的方方面面，比如關注着我們不正常的、不正直的以及沒有尊嚴的行為舉止。

To liberate us from this kind of punitive story, we may need to conduct a deliberately artificial thought-exercise; we may have to set ourselves the challenge of examining how long we spend on the foolishness (or just existence) of other people. How we think and feel about other people we don’t particularly know is perhaps thebest guideto the workings of the average human imagination: to pretty much the rest of the world, we are the very same sort of strangers or casual acquaintances as we know and deal with in our own daily experience.

為了能從這種具有懲罰性的妄想中解脫出來，我們需要有意識地進行人為的思維練習，我們必須質問自己，審視自己有多少時間浪費在別人的愚蠢（或者別人的生存）上。對那些我們實際並不認識的人，我們怎麼看待他們、怎麼想他們，也許是了解人類大腦運作原理的最好指南：對於世界上大多數人來說，我們都是熟悉的陌生人，或者說泛泛之交，只是在日常生活中打交道而已。

And now here, the results can be surprising. Imagine that we’re in an elevator, standing next to someone on our way to the 20th floor. They think they know that we disapprove of their choice of jacket. They think they know that we should have picked another one and that they look silly and pinched in this one. But in reality, we haven’t noticed the jacket. In fact, we haven’t noticed they were born – or that one day they are going to die. We’re just worrying about how our partner responded when we mentioned our mother’s cold to them last night.

此時此刻，結論已經讓人驚掉大牙。想象一下我們正在乘坐通往20樓的電梯，旁邊站着一個人，那個人以為知道我在想什麼，他以為我不喜歡他穿的這件夾克。他以為我會選另一件夾克，他以為自己穿的夾克顯得又蠢又憔悴，但我其實根本沒有注意他穿的夾克。實際上我根本還沒注意到旁邊有人，甚至我們根本不關心他的生死，我們只是在擔心，昨天晚上提起媽媽得了感冒後，我們的伴侶會如何反應。

Or imagine it’s well on the way into the last bit of a two-hour meeting that we sense that a colleague’s hair really is a bit different today, though we can’t quite put a finger on how – even though they spent a small fortune on their cut and thought intensely about the wisdom of visiting a new salon.

或者想象一下，兩小時的會議已經接近尾聲，我們突然發現同事的髮型今天確實有一點不一樣，即使我們並不能確認到底哪裡不一樣，即使同事為了這個新髮型花了不少錢，並認真想了很久所選新的托尼老師是否是明智的選擇。

In other words, when we take our own minds as a guide, we get a far more accurate – and far less oppressive – vision of what’s likely to be going on the heads of other people when they encounter us, which is, in the nicest way, not very much.This kind of news is both very bad and strangely good: on the one hand, no one may notice when we die; on the other, they are also sure not to have noticed when we spill some orange juice on our front or do our hair the wrong way.It’s not that we – or they – are horrible.

換句話說，當我們以自己的大腦（怎麼想別人）為導向，也許就不會那麼壓抑，我們就會更準確地把握我們遇見的那些人腦袋裡在想什麼，從完美角度看，當然也不是很準確。當然，這樣的思維可以說是一把雙刃劍，不好的一面是，我們死去時也許沒有人會注意到，而好的一面是，別人肯定也不會注意到我們不小心打翻了橙汁，或者做了個難看的髮型，但這並不能說明，我們或者他們是糟糕的人。

Our lack of caring isn’t absolute. If we really saw a stranger in trouble in the water, we would dive in. When a friend is in tears, we are sympathetic. It’s just that for the most part, we need to filter. Our everyday lack of care occurs for a perfectly sane and forgivable reason: we need to spend most of our waking energies on navigating, and doing justice to, our own intimate concerns. Once we』ve had to think about our relationship, our career, our finances, our health, our close relatives, our offspring, our upcoming holidays, our friends and the state of our household, there is just going to be very little time left to reflect on the suddenly high-pitched voice of a customer or the outfit of a colleague.

我們對他人缺乏關心並不是絕對的。如果我們真的看見陌生人溺水了，我們肯定會挺身而出，當朋友撕心裂肺時，我們也會對他產生同情。只是在大多數情況下，我們需要做出篩選。我們日常缺乏關心是出於完全理智並且是值得原諒的理由：我們需要把大量精力放在正確的方向，以及公平對待切身利益上。一旦我們要開始考慮身邊的關係、事業、經濟情況、健康、近親、子女，即將到來的假期、朋友和家庭狀況時，就很少有時間能留給留意一位顧客突然高亢的聲音，或者同事的穿着了。

We are owed the upside of an otherwise tragic insight. We shouldn’t just suffer from the indifference of other people, we should – where it matters – properly reciprocateit. We shouldn’t merely suffer from being ignored, we should accept the liberation implicit in the fact that we are being so. And then, in turn, we should embark more courageously on those situations and adventures where a touch of foolishness is always going to be a possibility, like the start of a new business, a romantic invitation, or asking a question at a conference…We may fail, but we can believe with new certainty that almost no one will give a damn if we do, an idea that may – above anything else – help to contribute to our future success – something which, as we now know, no one is going to much notice or care about anyway.

我們欠缺從不同的、悲劇式的視角積極思考，我們不應該只是從別人的冷漠中感受到傷害，重要的是我們應該適當地換位思考。我們不應該只感受到被忽視的傷害，而應該真正接受隱藏在漠不關心背後的自由，然後反過來更勇敢地踏上險象環生的征程。征程中極有可能會發生一些蠢事，比如開始一項新的事業，赴一次浪漫的約會，或者在會議上提問，我們都可能會挫敗，但我們能確定的是，幾乎沒有人會在意我們做什麼，這樣想比什麼都重要，這樣想比什麼都重要，對我們未來的成功十分有益。現在我們多少已經這個道理：事不關己，高高掛起。

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