鑽石舞台

So, it looks like you like someone.

你好像喜歡上某人了。

And you're scanning through your brain for possible ideas on how to make them notice you.

你可能正在絞盡腦汁，想讓對方注意到你。

So far, you've come up with nothing.

但是到目前為止，你腦子空空，啥也想不出來。

So, you think: Are there some little things I can do to get them to notice me a bit more?

你想知道：我能做些什麼，讓他們更多地注意到我？

Whether they're a crush, a partner, or even a friend.

無論是戀人、伴侶，還是朋友。

Here are six subtle behaviors to make people notice you and like you more.

這裡推薦給你六個可以讓人們注意到你，更喜歡你的行為。

Number one, don't be afraid to talk about your flaws.

一，勇敢談論自己的缺點。

Ever heard of the Prattfall Effect?

聽說過普拉特福爾效應嗎？

This is a psychological phenomenon that states that, if you are seen as very competent, making a mistake or small blunder makes you more likable,

這是一種心理現象，指的是，如果大家認為你非常有能力，犯一個小錯誤或許會讓你更討人喜歡，

than those other very competent people who don't show their mistakes or flaws.

反而是那些非常能幹的人，不會表現出自己的錯誤或缺陷的人，不怎麼受人歡迎。

People can sometimes be intimidated by people who seem as if they have no flaws.

人們有時會不喜歡那些看似沒有缺陷的人。

So, it's not a bad thing if you do show your flaws once in a while.

所以，偶爾露出自己的缺點並不是一件壞事。

Number two, keep their secrets and share one of yours.

二，保守他人的秘密，分享自己的秘密。

Do you keep secrets?

你能很好地保守秘密嗎？

Or are you horrible at keeping them?

還是你特別容易泄密呢？

A 2009 study by researchers Catherine A Cottrell, Steven L Neuberg, and Norman P Li,

研究人員凱瑟琳·A·科特雷爾、史蒂文·L·紐伯格和諾曼·P·李在2009年進行了一項研究，

found that people greatly valued trustworthiness in their relationships.

研究發現，人們非常看重人際關係中的可信度。

The study states: Across different measures of trait importance and different groups and relationships,

這項研究指出：在不同的特質重要性衡量標準以及不同的群體和關係中，

trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others.

可信度在所有相互依賴的人之中都極其重要。

The evidence for the enhanced importance of cooperativeness across different interdependent context was more equivocal.

不同的依賴關係對合作的重要性的強調也有所不同。

Trust is a big deal in a relationship.

在一段關係中，信任是很重要的。

So, you might as well show your crush, your relationship material by keeping their secrets.

所以，你需要保守他人的秘密，這樣更能體現你對暗戀對象的好感。

One way you can show you trust someone early on is to tell them a small secret of yours.

你可以通過告訴別人一個你的小秘密來表達你對某人的早期信任。

This may just bring you closer.

這可能會拉近你們之間的距離。

Number three, mirror your partner's gestures and behavior.

三，模仿他人的動作和行為。

So, you're at a party.

比如說，你去參加一個派對。

And you suddenly find yourself subconsciously mimicking the gestures and movements of the person you're talking to.

你突然發現自己下意識地在模仿與你交談的人的手勢和動作。

What's going on?

怎麼回事？

This instance is called the Chameleon Effect, and was explored in further studies.

這種情況被稱為變色龍效應，後續研究也進一步證實了其真實性。

If you're often subconsciously mirroring your crushes gestures and movements, this could make your crush like you a bit more.

如果你經常下意識地模仿你的暗戀對象的手勢和動作，這可能會讓你的暗戀對象更喜歡你。

Why?

為什麼？

People tend to like people who are like them.

人們傾向於喜歡和他們相似的人。

The next question is, do you notice them mirroring you?

下一個問題是，你注意到他們也有在模仿你嗎？

Number four, show them you like them.

四，讓他們知道你喜歡他們。

Are you afraid that your friends will reveal your true feelings to your crush?

你害怕你的朋友會向你的心上人透露你對他們的心意嗎？

Well, your crush finding out can often be a good thing.

嗯，其他讓對方發現你的心意往往是一件好事。

Why?

為什麼？

Because of reciprocity of attraction, or sometimes known as reciprocal liking.

因為相互吸引，或者有時被稱為相互喜歡。

This is a psychological term used to describe when one person starts to feel attraction for someone only after hearing that individual likes them.

這是一個心理學術語，用來描述一個人只有在聽說某人喜歡他之後才開始對其產生好感。

A 1959 study published in Human Relations told their group subjects, that certain individuals in their group would likely like them.

1959年發表在《人類關係》雜誌上的一項研究，告訴小組受試者，他們小組中的某些人可能喜歡他們。

After group discussions, subjects told researchers who they liked the most.

在小組討論後，受試者告訴研究人員他們最喜歡誰。

Can you guess who they liked?

你能猜到他們喜歡誰嗎？

You guessed it right!

你猜對了！

The subjects chose the people they were told initially liked them.

受試者選擇最初被告知喜歡他們的人。

So, if you like someone and wanna be friends, or perhaps more than friends, let them know you like them.

所以，如果你喜歡一個人，並且想和其成為朋友，或者更深一步的發展，那就讓他們知道你喜歡他們。

This may get them to start thinking of you more.

這可能會讓他們開始更多地考慮你。

And then they may just like you back.

然後他們可能也會喜歡你。

Number five, start deep conversations and sometimes paraphrase what you understood.

五，進行深入的對話，發表自己對所理解事物的看法。

Do you hate small talk?

你討厭閒聊嗎？

Well then, don't shy away from starting some deep conversations with your crush.

那麼，不要羞於和你的心上人開始一些深入的對話。

Research from Harvard found that deep conversations and meaningfully talking about yourself can help activate the very same regions of your brain,

哈佛大學的一項研究發現，深入的對話和有意義的談論自己可以幫助激活你大腦中相同的區域，

that delicious food or sex activates.

這種激活和美味可口的食物或性愛的效果相同。

The study states that over a 45-minute period,

研究表明，在45分鐘的時間裡，

subject pairs carried out self-disclosure and relationship building tasks that gradually escalated in intensity.

受試者配對進行自我表達和建立關係的任務中，這種強度逐漸上升。

Study 1 found greater post-interaction closeness with these tasks versus comparable small talk tasks.

研究1發現，與類似的閒聊任務相比，這些任務在互動後的親密度更高。

So, while small talk is fine every now and then, when you're on a romantic date or speaking with your crush,

因此，雖然偶爾閒聊是可以的，但當你在浪漫約會或與你的心上人交談時，

a more meaningful discussion may excite them more.

一場更有意義的討論可能會讓彼此更興奮。

When you both open up and reveal your true emotions, your partner may fall in love with the deep, engaging conversations you have together instead.

當你們兩人都敞開心扉，流露出真實的情感時，你的另一半可能會愛上你們在一起進行的深入的、引人入勝的談話。

Actively listening is often seen as attractive as well.

積極傾聽也會增加對方的好感。

Remember, it can't just be you talking on first date.

記住，第一次約會時不要只顧着說話。

A good way to show them you're actively listening and that you understand them is by paraphrasing what they've told you.

向對方表明你在積極傾聽並理解他們的話，你可以複述一遍他們告訴你的內容。

Repeat it back to them.

也就是向他們重複一遍。

This is known as reflective listening.

這就是所謂的反思性傾聽。

So actively listen and then offer what you understood from their discussion back to them.

因此，積極傾聽，然後將你從他們的討論中理解的內容反饋給他們。

It's a great way to show you empathize with them and it can bring you closer.

這是一個很好的表達自己感同身受的方式，可以拉近你們的距離。

Findings from a 2007 research study published in the American Journal of Psychotherapy furthered this theory.

2007年發表在《美國心理治療雜誌》上的一項研究結果進一步印證了這一理論。

The studies have found that when therapists use reflective listening,

研究發現，當治療師使用反思性傾聽時，

their patients had a higher chance of disclosing more information about their emotions.

他們的病人會透露更多情緒信息。

And their therapeutic relationship with their therapist improved.

他們與治療師的關係也得到了改善。

Not only is it good for your romantic relationships.

這不僅對你們的戀愛關係有好處。

But it's good for any type of relationships.

但這對任何類型的關係都有好處。

Simply put, it brings people closer together.

簡單地說，它讓人們更緊密地聯繫在一起。

And number six, display open body language and build your confidence, then show it.

六，開放的肢體語言，建立自信，然後展示出來。

Do you show your confidence when you can?

當你可以的時候，你會展現自己的自信嗎？

It's great to have confidence in yourself for many reasons.

對自己保有信心，這是很棒的，無論在哪兒。

And it can often help when getting to know others as well.

當你開始了解其他人的時候，這通常也會有所幫助。

Perhaps, you've heard that confidence is key.

也許，你聽過這句話，自信很重要。

Well, showing some confidence can indeed be important when getting others to notice you romantically.

嗯，在讓別人注意到你時，表現出一些自信確實很重要。

Displaying confident behavior is often seen as an attractive quality.

表現得自信通常也會更加具有吸引力。

Why?

為什麼？

Well, generally, people wanna be confident.

嗯，一般來說，人們想要自信。

So, seeing someone who is can be admirable.

因此，看到自信的人就會發自內心地讚賞。

One way you can seem more confident is if you display open body language.

一種讓你看起來更自信的方法是，舒展自己的肢體語言。

Keep your chest and torso open.

昂首挺胸。

And try not to cross your arms as much.

儘量不要交叉雙臂。

Closed body language can give off the impression you aren't available or simply don't want to talk.

封閉的肢體語言會給人一種你沒空或者只是不想說話的印象。

Availability is key in making friends and simply giving others a chance to talk with you.

有空是交朋友的關鍵，也是讓別人有機會和你交談的關鍵。

So that crush of yours, if they notice you look approachable and welcoming, they may just have an easier time introducing themselves to you.

因此，如果你的暗戀對象注意到你看起來平易近人、熱情好客，他們可能會更想和你交談。

There has been a huge decline in mental health around the world, which is why we are so committed to creating more content than we ever have.

世界上每個地區的心理健康水平都在大幅下降，這就是為什麼我們想要與你們分享更多的關於心理健康內容的原因。

Thanks for being a part of our journey.

感謝你加入我們！