鑽石舞台

中英文本

We generally think that philosophers should be proud of their big brains, and be fans of thinking, self-reflection and rational analysis.

常人眼中的哲學家，似乎總是一副高高在上的樣子，整天除了埋頭陳思，反省自身就是理智分析。

But there’s one philosopher, born in France in 1533, with a refreshingly different take. Michel de Montaigne was an intellectual who spent his writing life knocking the arrogance of intellectuals.In his great masterpiece, theEssays, he comes across as relentlessly wise and intelligent – but also as constantly modest and keen to debunk the pretensions of learning. Not least, he is extremely funny…: 『to learn that we have said or done a stupid thing is nothing, we must learn a more ample and important lesson: that we are but blockheads… On the highest throne in the world, we are seated, still, upon our arses.』 And, lest we forget: 『Kings and philosophers shit, and so do ladies.』

但出生於1533年法國的米歇爾·德·蒙田就打破了常人對於哲學家的固定看法。雖然也是高知一員，他卻費盡全力在所有的作品中抨擊那些知識分子的傲慢態度。在巨作《蒙田隨筆》中，他不僅展現了過人的智慧和見解，也表達了對于謙遜態度的不斷追求和對恃才傲物行為的強烈反對。他幽默的筆調更是點睛之筆：「如果我們說了或者做了一些傻事，不要太放在心上。要知道，大家都一樣，都是傻瓜。即便是坐在世界的巔峰寶座上，我們還是坐在自己的屁股上」。除此之外，像「國王和哲學家們都要拉屎的，即便是小仙女也一樣」這樣語不驚死人人不休的話也頻頻出現。

Montaigne was a child of the Renaissance and the ancient philosophers popular in Montaigne’s day had believed that our powers of reason could afford us a happiness and greatness denied to other creatures.Reason allowed us to control our passions and temper the wild demands of our bodies, wrote philosophers like Cicero.

蒙田出生在文藝復興時期。當時享譽一時的古典哲學學派都推崇理性至上的觀點，認為理性的力量能夠給予人們快樂，是區分人類和其他生物的標誌。在哲學家如西塞羅看來，理智能夠讓人調節自己的情感，壓抑自己的原始欲望。

Reason was a sophisticated, almost divine, tool offering us mastery over the world and ourselves. But this characterisation of human reason enraged Montaigne. After hanging out with academics and philosophers, he wrote, 「In practice, thousands of little women in their villages have lived more gentle, more equable and more constant lives than [Cicero].」

理智是一種複雜，幾乎神聖的東西。保持理智，我們就能與整個世界，與自己，找到和諧的相處模式。但這種看法激怒了蒙田。在和一些學者，哲學家相處之後，他寫下這樣的句子：「自身實踐表明，無數鄉村少女都比那些理智的人（西塞羅）活的更舒坦，平和，長久」

His point wasn’t that human beings can’t reason at all, simply that they tend to be far too arrogant about their brains. 「Our life consists partly in madness, partly in wisdom,」 he wrote. 「Whoever writes about it merely respectfully and by rule leaves more than half of it behind.」

但蒙田也並非完全否決了理性思考的魅力。他只是認為，借着理性的幌子，行傲慢之舉實在是難以忍受。「我們的生活需要理智的一面，也需要（憤怒）人性的一面，任何只是畢恭畢敬、按規則書寫的人生，都會留下超過一半的空白。」

Perhaps the most obvious example of our madness is the struggle of living with a human body. Our bodies smell, ache, sag, pulse, throb and age. Montaigne was the world’s first and possibly only philosopher to talk at length about impotence, which seemed to him a prime example of how crazy and fragile our minds are.

關於人性的憤怒，可能最好的例子就是我們永遠無法脫離肉體凡胎，仍要經歷生老病死的苦惱。蒙田是世界上第一個，也可能是唯一一個討論性無能的哲學家，似乎這是用來解釋人類思維能有多脆弱和瘋狂的最好例子。

Montaigne had a friend who had grown impotent with a woman he particularly liked. Montaigne did not blame his penis: 「Except for genuine impotence, never again are you incapable if you are capable of doing it once.」 The problem was the mind, the oppressive notion that we had complete control over our bodies, and the horror of departing from this portrait of normality that had left the man unable to perform.

蒙田有一個性無能的朋友，他無法在心儀女孩面前勃起。蒙田並沒有將此歸咎為一種生殖缺陷：「當你在知道自己性無能，但仍舊克服了心理障礙勇敢嘗試的那一刻起，這世上就再沒有什麼事情能真正讓你無能為力。」我們總是認為自己能夠理智地掌控自己的身體，害怕給人以「失常」的形象。而問題就在於此，正是這些壓抑的想法讓我們真正變得「無能為力」。

The solution was to redraw the portrait; it was by accepting a loss of command over the penis as a harmless possibility in love-making that one could pre-empt its occurrence – as the stricken man eventually discovered. In bed with a woman, he learnt to,「Admit beforehand that he was subject to this infirmity and spoke openly about it, so relieving the tensions within his soul. By bearing the malady as something to be expected, his sense of constriction grew less and weighed less heavily on him.」

解決性無能的辦法就是，重新構建自己的形象：我們可以將性無能視為一種無痛的做愛方式。在這個過程中，無論是自身有感覺的男性，還是女性，都已經對結果瞭然於心。在和女性上床之前，男性學會了「如何承認並坦露自己的性無能。這樣一來，承受的壓力就減輕了。他也不會再一直瞻前顧後畏首畏尾，因為已經有了心理準備」

Montaigne’s frankness allowed the tensions in the reader’s own soul to be relieved. A man who failed with his girlfriend and was unable to do any more than mumble an apology, could regain his forces and soothe the anxieties of his beloved by accepting that his impotence belonged to a broad realm of sexual mishaps, neither very rare nor very peculiar. Montaigne knew a nobleman who, after failing to maintain an erection with a woman, fled home, cut off his penis and sent it to the lady 「to atone for his offence.」 Montaigne proposed instead that:

「If [couples] are not ready, they should not try to rush things. Rather than fall into perpetual wretchedness by being struck with despair at a first rejection, it is better… to wait for an opportune moment… a man who suffers a rejection should make gentle assays and overtures with various little sallies; he should not stubbornly persist in proving himself inadequate once and for all. 」

蒙田主張的性坦誠無疑舒緩了很多讀者的壓力。那些性無能又難以啟齒的男性能夠緩解的焦慮，找回自信，認識到自己只不過是無數個生理缺陷受害者中的一員，並不是「怪胎」或者「畸形」。蒙田的一個貴族朋友就曾經在心愛的女生面前勃起失敗後，火速趕回家，切下了自己的生殖器，送給了女孩，以此來獲得「被冒犯」的女孩的原諒。蒙田認為，本可以有更好的解決辦法：「如果愛侶雙方並沒有做好足夠的心理準備，他們就不該急着上床。相比兩人共同面對性無能的打擊和永久性創傷而言，提前用一些俏皮的話打探和測試難道不是更好嗎？一個男人不應該因為陷入雙方性無能的尷尬而徹底否決自己。」

Throughout his work, Montaigne took farts, penises, and shitting as serious topics for contemplation. He told his readers, for example, that he liked quiet when sitting on the toilet: 「Of all the natural operations, that is the one during which I least willingly tolerate being disrupted.」

蒙田從不忌諱討論屎尿屁，生殖器這些話題。比如，他在作品直言他上廁所時不喜被打擾：「在所有的自然活動中，我最不願意在上廁所時被人打擾。」

Ancient philosophers had recommended that one try to model oneself on the lives of certain esteemed people, normally philosophers. In the Christian tradition, one should model one’s life on that of Christ. The idea of modelling is attractive; it suggests we need to find someone to guide and illuminate our path. But it matters a lot what kind of portraits are around. What we see evidence for in others, we will attend to within, what others are silent about, we may stay blind to or experience only in shame. Montaigne is refreshing because he provides us with a life which is recognisably like our own and yet inspiring still – a very human ideal.

古典哲學家們認為人們應該以德行崇高的人（一般是哲學家）為榜樣。比如在基督教傳統中，人人都該以基督為圭臬。榜樣的力量確實強大，我們需要找到能夠指引和照亮我們前進的道路的楷模。但是，我們希望給他人呈現什麼樣的形象至關重要。事實上，我們只會關注他人能從我們身上看到的一面，至於他人看不到的另一面，我們會選擇忽視，或者在屈辱中默默忍受。蒙田的思想之所以歷久彌新就在於他構建的人生既現實而又具有啟發意義。

Academia was deeply prestigious in Montaigne’s day, as in our own. Montaigne was an excellent scholar but he hated pedantry. He only wanted to learn things that were useful and relentlessly attacked academia for being out of touch: 「If man were wise, he would gauge the true worth of anything by its usefulness and appropriateness to his life,」 he said. Only that which makes us feel better may be worth understanding.

和現在一樣，知識分子在蒙田時期受人尊敬。雖然蒙田也是一名出色的學者，但他極力反對賣弄學識的行為。他只想學習實用的東西，而不是像其他迂腐的學究一樣假裝「高深莫測」。他曾說：「如果人們都是聰慧的，人們就該認識到真正具有價值的是對生活有實際用途的東西。」只有那些真正能讓我們改善自身的東西才具有意義。

Montaigne noted snobbery and pretension in many areas – and constantly tried to bring us back to earth.

蒙田注意到了很多領域都有賣弄學識，恃才傲物的學者，他一直試圖將這些人「拉下神壇」：

「Storming a breach, conducting an embassy, ruling a nation are glittering deeds. Rebuking, laughing, buying, selling, loving, hating and living together gently and justly with your household – and with yourself – not getting slack nor being false to yourself, is something more remarkable, more rare and more difficult. Whatever people may say, such secluded lives sustain in that way duties which are at least as hard and as tense as those of other lives.」

「面對挑戰，帶領團隊，治理國家確實是輝煌的事業。但真正的人生是嬉笑怒罵，愛恨貪痴，柴米油鹽，家人團聚，生活和諧。如何處理好這些事情，真誠的面對自己，才是更加值得關注，更困難，更珍貴的事情。不管他人怎麼看，處理好自己的人生其實不比處理那些國家大事要簡單和輕鬆。」

In this vein, Montaigne mocked books that were difficult to read. He admitted to his readers that he found Plato more than a little boring – and that he just wanted to have fun with books:

帶着這種態度，蒙田嘲諷了那些故作高深的作品。他向自己的讀者坦言柏拉圖的作品其實很無聊，他只想看書找找樂子。

「I am not prepared to bash my brains for anything, not even for learning’s sake however precious it may be. From books all I seek is to give myself pleasure by an honourable pastime… If I come across difficult passages in my reading I never bite my nails over them: after making a charge or two I let them be… If one book wearies me I take up another.」

「不管我要看的書有多麼珍貴，我都不打算為難自己的智商，哪怕我確實能夠學到知識。我看書只為了取悅自己，這樣起碼不會太浪費時間。如果瀏覽到了一些複雜的內容，我就會跳過，如果整本都是這樣，我就會斷然放棄，從不難為自己和自己的指甲。」

He could be pretty caustic about incomprehensible philosophers:「Difficulty is a coin which the learned conjure with so as not to reveal the vanity of their studies and which human stupidity is keen to accept in payment.」Montaigne observed how an intimidating scholarly culture had made all of us study other people’s books before we study our own minds. And yet, as he put it: 「We are richer than we think, each one of us.」

對於那些晦澀難懂的哲學家，他從來不吝嗇諷刺和評判：「晦澀難懂的內容只不過是那些哲學家們用來掩飾自己無知的把戲，但願意付智商稅卻的大有人在。蒙田認識到，正是這種自以為是的高知文化讓許多人喪失了獨立思考的能力。他們忽視了自己真正的想法，一味的在書中找尋別人的答案，正如他所言：「每一個人其實都比自己想象的要博學。」

We may all arrive at wise ideas if we cease to think of ourselves as so unsuited to the task because we aren’t two thousand years old, aren’t interested in the topics of Plato’s dialogues and have a so-called ordinary life.

只要我們停止妄自菲薄，就會得到很多有見地的思想。因為我們既不是什麼兩千年的老古董，也不是柏拉圖的狂熱粉絲，我們只不過，是平平凡凡的人罷了。

「You can attach the whole of moral philosophy to a commonplace private life just as well as to one of richer stuff.」

倫理哲學不僅蘊藏在複雜的道理背後，也隱於瑣碎的日常生活之中。

It was perhaps to bring the point home that Montaigne offered so much information on exactly how ordinary his own life was – why he wanted to tell us,

可能是為了證實這一點，蒙田無數次的拿自己的生活舉例說明自己有多麼的普通。

That he didn’t like apples

「I am not overfond …of any fruit except melons.」

他不喜歡蘋果

「除了甜瓜，我對其他水果不感興趣」

That he had a complex relationship with radishes

「I first of all found that radishes agreed with me; then they did not; now they do again.」

和蘿蔔之間不可描述的故事

「蘿蔔簡直就是我的天命食物，雖然有段時間不是，但現在又捲土重來了」

That he practised the most advanced dental hygiene

「My teeth…have always been exceedingly good… Since boyhood I learned to rub

孜孜不倦地探尋刷牙之道

「我的牙齒是我最引以為傲的部分，我從小就習慣用餐巾紙清理他們，起床一次，飯前飯後一次。」

them on my napkin, both on waking up and before and after meals.」

That he ate too fast

「In my haste I often bite my tongue and occasionally my fingers.」

吃飯吃得很快

「我總是急匆匆地咬到自己的舌頭和手指」

And liked wiping his mouth

「I could dine easily enough without a tablecloth, but I feel very uncomfortable dining without a clean napkin… I regret that we have not continued along the lines of the fashion started by our kings, changing napkins likes plates with each course.」

喜歡不斷地擦嘴

「沒有桌布我都無所謂，但要是沒有擦嘴的紙巾我可能會原地爆炸。真希望我們能延續國王每道菜換紙巾和餐具的優良傳統。」

Trivia perhaps, but symbolic reminders that there was a thinking 「I」 behind this book, that a moral philosophy had issued – and so could issue again – from an ordinary, fruit-eating soul.

可能正是這些象徵性的生活瑣事能夠讓讀者明白，書本背後的作家與常人無異，只是一個會思考的人而已。再經典的哲學思想都是在凡胎肉體的大腦中產生的。也正是因為是人，思想才能得以延續。

There is no need to be discouraged if, from the outside, we look nothing like those who have ruminated in the past.

所以如果我們看起和這些啟發我們思想的哲學家相去甚遠，也沒什麼好沮喪的。

In Montaigne’s redrawn portrait of the adequate, semi-rational human being, it is possible to speak no Greek, fart, change one’s mind after a meal, get bored with book, be impotent and know none of the Ancient philosophers.

在蒙田的筆下，人是有血有肉，有理智，也有瘋狂的。不懂希臘語很正常，是人都會放屁，突然改變想法，對書籍感到睏倦，性無能，對古典哲學家一無所知，都不是什麼稀奇的事情。

A virtuous, ordinary life, striving for wisdom but never far from folly, is achievement enough.

在坦然平凡的生活中，我們不斷追求理性，也永遠褪不去愚昧。這樣的人生，也足夠輝煌。

Montaigne remains the great, readable intellectual with whom we can laugh at intellectuals and pretensions of many kinds. He was a breath of fresh air in the cloistered, unworldly, snobbish corridors of the academia of the 16th century – and because academia has, sadly, not changed very much, he continues to be an inspiration and a solace to all of us who feel routinely oppressed by the pedantry and arrogance of so-called clever people.

蒙田無疑是一位偉大而又平易近人的哲學家。我們能和他一起嘲笑那些自視甚高賣弄學識的學者。在16世紀一眾高高在上，不食人間煙火，恃才傲物的哲學家中，他無疑是一股清流。當那些所謂的「高知」傲慢地俯視我們這些底層的普通人時，我們至少還能從蒙田的書中得到一絲慰藉和啟迪。

本期ONE譯製團：

譯者：Hiallison

責任編輯：Leon Yong

source:The School of Life