鑽石舞台

引言

（本篇純文章、無音視頻）

支撐我們前進的動力向來有兩種，一種源於當前的現實生活，一種源於一直在幻想卻從未去實現的理想生活。我們似乎已經習慣無精打采的癱倒在沙發上，一邊擔心着未完成的工作，一邊機械地瀏覽着微博。但其實，只要我們早起幾分鐘，準時工作，梳理自己的計劃，或者找個時間去看看心理醫生，我們的生活可能就會成為理想中的樣子。但拖延症總是悄無聲息又毫無預兆的占據我們的身心，讓本該充滿無限可能的生活變得單一化。

The history of every life is made up both of the life we lead, and the richer, more ambitious one we dream of leading – but never quite do… because we are stretched out in the bath or on the sofa, too tired or worried, too distracted or despairing. This alternative life could be ours if only we were able to get to our desks on time, rise early enough, ask people for what we need, remember how finite existence is – or went to see a psychotherapist. We squander some of our best possibilities to the quiet, unheralded tragedy of procrastination.

我們或許早已習慣了這種生活狀態：心裡清楚還有堆積如山的工作等着我們完成，也為此感到罪惡，但一想到要着手開始工作，檢查錯誤，那點可憐的動力似乎又消失殆盡了。這一切就好像是，我們已經拖延太久了，再拖一會也不遲。

Our shame at the scale of our procrastination is part of the problem. We’re already so guilty about what we’re not doing, the very thought of examining our errors and taking action feels unbearable. It seems as if we have procrastinated far too much to deserve a new start.

儘管如此，我們仍應該放輕鬆，更樂觀一些。每個人都會拖延，這是人類共性，不該被視為什麼難以啟齒的個人失敗。相反。我們需要理智的考慮這些問題，大方的談論這些困擾，循序漸進的減輕它帶來的影響。

We should be less hard on ourselves – and in the process, less fatalistic about the chances of change. Procrastination is a design-flaw of the human animal, not an appalling and unique personal failing. We need to consider the problem rationally, talk about it openly and learn to take small, manageable steps to attenuate its worst ills.

但並不是說，我們可以就此徹底地根除拖延症，我們要明白造成拖延症的原因究竟是什麼，我們什麼時候會開始拖延，怎樣拖延的等等。只有這樣，我們才能一步一步地解決這些問題。或許在我們了解如何控制拖延症之後，我們仍會時不時的拖延一會，但至少我們不會再像以前那樣在愧疚中苦苦掙扎了。

The goal is not to remove procrastination altogether, but to understand its roots, appreciate when it may strike and work out its hold on us, so that we can plot a nimble path around it. Having learnt the art of managing our procrastination, we』ll still sometimes spend slightly too long on the sofa, but we will have opened up a major new possibility: that of eventually dying with fewer regrets.

1. 恐懼與拖延

Fear and Procrastination

談及拖延的理由，很多人都會自然而然地將其歸於人性的弱點「懶惰」。確實，這也很有說服力，讓人無力反駁。好像我們拖延工作是因為我們生來就任性，懶散，註定一事無成。

We tend to account for why we procrastinate with a deeply convincing and hugely punitive explanation: we don’t get down to tasks because we are lazy. We don’t do what we should because we are, in essence, self-indulgent, slothful and (underneath it all) surely rather bad people.

但原因絕非如此簡單。從心理學的角度上看，我們應該給予拖延症患者更多的同情。因為拖延的真正原因並不是懶惰，而是恐懼。而我們總喜歡將懶惰作為藉口的真正原因則是源於我們內心的焦慮。

The truth is more complicated, at once psychologically more nuanced and more worthy of sympathy. The real reason we are indolent is not so much because we are lazy as because we arescared. What we blithely call being lazy is really a symptom and consequence of anxiety.

比如說，我們似乎很容易就能夠完成那些不重要的工作。這些工作無關緊要，我們便能以更輕鬆的心態，更活躍的思維，更高的效率完成它們。在工作過程中，我們好像感覺不到時間的流逝，甚至不覺得自己是在工作，更像是在享受一樣。

Oddly, it tends to be very easy to get down to work on things that don’t matter very much. Their lack of importance encourages our lighter, more carefree and more productive sides. We find we’re done with them in no time and it doesn’t even feel like work; it’s closer to play.

但在那些真正至關重要的工作面前，我們就露怯了，我們的思維開始凝固。我們是如此的害怕搞砸帶來的後果，甚至連開始的勇氣都沒有。好像只要我們再拖一會，就不會這麼快的面對無能帶來的挫敗感。

Yet the stuff that really counts, that we need done because our lives may depend on it, terrifies us into inactivity. We are so scared of failure, we don’t dare to make a start. At least, if we leave the task untouched, we won’t need to face any risk of humiliating incapacity or incompetence.

從這一點上，我們似乎能夠找到提高工作效率的辦法：停止提醒自己即將着手的工作的重要性。但問題是，我們根本沒辦法做到這點，我們心裡清楚的明白這些工作至關重要。

This analysis points to how we might increase our productivity. We would be advised not to remind ourselves (or get others to remind us) of how important a task may be: we know this full well already and that is precisely the problem.

那我們應該怎麼辦呢？其實我們應該換個角度想想，假設我們真的搞砸了工作，後果真的有我們所想象的那麼嚴重嗎？我們確實可能會因此丟了工作，失了合同，被在意的人看低，但不得不承認的是這些問題最終都會有解決的辦法。所有真正重要的是，我們應該卸下負擔，以更輕鬆積極的態度完成工作，最好是能享受其中。

What we need to do is to stress its relative unimportance in the grander scheme. So what if, in the end, we don’t get the job, or lose the contract or are thought an idiot by people we care about? It happens, and it’s survivable. We mustn’t ramp up the pressure, we must strive to turn the task from a horrifying ordeal to the only thing we』ll know how to deal with calmly and energetically: a piece of play.

以輕鬆的態度面對可能接受的結果，能夠將我們從壓力中釋放出來，解放我們的想象力和熱情。

Lessening the imagined consequences of messing up liberates us to devote to a task all the energy and talent we actually possess.

2. 生鏽的鉸鏈

Squeaky Hinges

在勞倫斯·斯特恩的著名小說《項狄傳》（其中最早的一部分發表於1759年）中有一個情節，主人公透露自己被吱吱作響的門鉸鏈困擾了近半輩子。但其實，主人公只需要花上一分鐘上點油就可以解決這個「心腹大患」。而我們的生活當中，也不乏這樣的「鉸鏈」。

In Laurence Sterne’s great novelThe Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman(the first parts of which were published in 1759), there’s an episode in which one of the characters reveals that in his house, there’s『a squeaky door hinge that has annoyed himhalf his life』. That’s rather a long time to leave a hinge unattended for, given that it would take only a minute with some oil to correct the problem. Yet we all have such hinges in our lives.

勞倫斯·斯特恩 意識流小說開創者之一

這無疑是一種悲劇：仿佛在我們的人生中，我們總是被着各種各樣的小麻煩困擾着，而且我們總是不願意去解決這些細枝末節帶來的麻煩。無論是昏暗的燈泡，灰濛濛的擋風玻璃，脫落的紐扣還是掉漆的牆壁，我們是能夠心安理得的忽視這些生活中的「鉸鏈」。

It’s a theme of great pathos: our lives are plagued by minor irritants which we don’t to get around to sorting out. We neglect to replace a light bulb, we don’t refill the windscreen wiper fluid, a button is kept hanging by a thread, we don’t repaint a wall.

為什麼呢？為什麼我們總會忽略了這些小事的重要性。我們好像總是在苛求自己追求幸福的方式。在我們的世界裡，好像快樂的源泉只能來自那些巨大的成就（有一份高昂的工資，華麗的別墅，體面的工作）。我們總是視生活中的「鉸鏈」於不顧，好像解決這些小事於我們的生活無關緊要。

Part of the problem is that we are snobs about happiness: the issue is so small, and yet we operate with a sense that our contentment must be made up of enormous and prestigious elements (more money, a bigger house, a grand job). We leave the hinge or the button unattended because we can’t imagine that our moods could be hostage to such trivial features.

事實上，很多時候我們的快樂都來源於身邊的小事。但我們總是着眼於那些大的成就，往往忽略了那些小事積累起來的快樂。

But generously considered, a lot of how we feel is in fact determined by 『minor things』. We insist on a heroic view of our lives, in which great transformations are all that matter, and neglect how much – cumulatively – the small things add up.

這些小事不僅包括打掃房間，也包括對我們自己，對身邊的人的態度轉變上。或許我們永遠也不會對另一半提起其實我們不滿意他們對待自己家人的態度，也不會說出我們其實不喜歡他們切麵包的方式。人生數十載，我們可能都在將就中度過，極力避免自我反省。我們總是苛求幸福的來源。須知，快樂不僅來源於工作和地位上的成就，還可以來源於那些不起眼的「鉸鏈」。

Small things includes not just household items, but also minor dynamics in our relationships with ourselves and others. For half a lifetime, we may neglect to discuss with a partner how their way of alluding to our mother irritates us or how much we』d prefer them not to cut bread a certain way. We may spend decades avoiding a certain kind of introspection or moment of self-knowledge. We are heedless in the way we plan for happiness. The tasks we need to take on include not just the large prestigious ones around status and work; we should focus on a fair number of squeaky hinges too.

3. 忙碌

Busyness

還有一些人（有時可能是我們自己）的拖延症與我們所設想的恰恰相反。他們可能是朋友圈裡的大忙人，一天到晚極其忙碌。

One of the odder forms that procrastination takes looks – at first sight – like its exact opposite. It happens when someone (who could be ourselves in certain moods) seems to be extremely busy.

他們的生活看似十分充實：他們會在學校里花大量的時間完成作業，會在工作上勤勤懇懇的完成上級指派的任務，會在家裡把房間打掃的一塵不染，提前一周在冰箱裡屯好食材，精打細算的計算開支，可能連感謝信都寫的滴水不漏。

On the surface they are working very hard: at school they get their homework finished in plenty of time; around a job they plough through their allocated tasks; their home is neat and the fridge is always well stocked; the household accounts are in order; the thank you letters get written at record speed.

但其實，另一種拖延症正在悄無聲息的占據他們的身心。這些「忙人」們可能正在以「充實」自己的方式拖延工作。這種拖延又稱「情緒拖延（emotional Procrastination）」。他們像蜜蜂一樣成天忙的打轉，但實際上，他們卻在一直避免去做那些真正會讓他們害怕失敗的事情，不敢真正地面對這些失敗帶來的羞恥感，不敢面對自己的內心。他們會在另一半需要回應時眼神閃躲。他們匆匆的趕往那些藝術展館，又匆匆的離去。他們或許每周會與三五好友出來聚會，卻從來只是享受被包圍的感覺，不知真正的友誼為何物。

But secretly there’s a great deal of procrastination going on. These busy people evade a different order of undertaking: they go in for what we might callemotional procrastination. They are practically a hive of activity, yet they don’t get round to working out what they really feel about a loss. They constantly delay the investigation of their own responses to an insult. They procrastinate when it comes to understanding particular feelings about a partner. They nip along to an exhibition, but don’t get around to thinking what the art means to them; they catch up regularly with friends but don’t get round to considering what the point of a particular friendship might be.

他們的忙碌看似是一種聰明的轉移注意的方式。事實上，他們遠比那些什麼也不做望着窗外發呆的人要懶惰得多。

Their busy-ness is in fact a subtle but powerful form of distraction. They are, in their own way, far lazier than someone who might have spent the afternoon gazing out of the window.

4.窗邊狂想曲

Gazing out of the Window

很多時候我們會望着窗外發呆，一望就是一整個下午。發完呆後我們便會陷入深深的自責：這一下午的寶貴時間足以讓我們完成工作或者學習任務，或者至少減少幾項「任務清單」裡面的選項。在我們的觀念里，發呆無疑是一種漫無目的，轉移注意力，又浪費時間的胡思亂想。相信任何人看到我們撐着下巴，望着窗外的樣子都會忍不住批評上幾句。我們也自然不可能在和他人討論的時候說：「我今天發了一天的呆，很充實。」但也許在一個更好的社會環境中，這句話確實會成為現實的寫照。

We tend to reproach ourselves for gazing out of the window. You are supposed to be working, or studying, or ticking off things on your to-do list. It can seem almost the definition of wasted time. It seems to produce nothing, to serve no purpose. We equate it with boredom, distraction, futility. The act of cupping your chin in your hands near a pane of glass and letting your eyes drift in the middle distance does not normally enjoy high prestige. We don’t go around saying: 『I had a great day: the high point was staring out of the window』. But maybe in a better society, that’s just the sort of thing people would at points say to one another.

古斯塔夫·卡耶博特，法國印象派畫家。

其實，我們眺望窗外並不是為了探尋窗外的景色，恰恰相反，我們是在探尋自己內心的聲音。一直以來，好像於我們而言，知道自己在想什麼，自己是如何感覺的，自己的腦子裡裝了些什麼，是一件再簡單不過的事情。但真正全面的思考這些問題的人卻不多。而這些問題的答案恰恰是塑造我們內心的關鍵所在。當處於壓力之下時，我們很難開啟這些隱藏於內心的潛在領域。所以，不如眺望窗外，給自己一個機會聆聽內心深處的聲音。

The point of staring out of a window is, paradoxically, not to find out what is going on outside. It is, rather, an exercise in discovering the contents of our own minds. It’s easy to imagine we know what we think, what we feel and what’s going on in our heads. But we rarely do entirely. There’s a huge amount of what makes us who we are that circulates unexplored and unused. Its potential lies untapped. It is shy and doesn’t emerge under the pressure of direct questioning. If we do it right, staring out the window offers a way for us to listen out for the quieter suggestions and perspectives of our deeper selves.

柏拉圖曾將內心的聲音比作籠子裡撲騰的鳥兒。為了安撫這些鳥兒，我們必須要提供一個無壓力的穩定狀態。望着窗外發呆無疑是一個很好的選擇。通過一扇窗戶，我們看到了這個世界：風中搖曳的野草，雨中孤立的鐘塔。我們不需要被迫做出任何回應，可以任由思緒自由平靜的在腦海中流淌，一如在空曠大街上迴蕩的教堂鐘聲。

Plato suggested a metaphor for the mind: our ideas are like birds fluttering around in the aviary of our brains. But in order for the birds to settle, Plato understood that we needed periods of purpose-free calm. Staring out the window offers such an opportunity. We see the world going on: a patch of weeds is holding its own against the wind; a grey tower block looms through the drizzle. But we don’t need to respond; we have no overarching intentions, and so the more tentative parts of ourselves have a chance to be heard, like the sound of church bells in the city once the traffic has died down at night.

在這個追求效率的時代里，我們可能無法認識到白日夢背後的潛在意識。但那些引人深思的時刻仍舊會在我們偶爾放鬆腳步，傾聽內心時閃現在我們的腦海里。當人人為了一些無意義的事情爭分奪秒，苦苦掙扎之時，那些看似漫不經心的「窗邊狂想曲」不正是一種無聲的抗爭嗎？

The potential of daydreaming isn’t recognised by societies obsessed with productivity. But some of our greatest insights come when we stop trying to be purposeful and instead respect the creative potential of reverie. Window daydreaming is a strategic rebellion against the excessive demands of immediate (but ultimately insignificant) pressures – in favour of the diffuse, but very serious, hard work of discovering the unexplored deep self.

本期ONE譯製團：

譯者：Hiallison

責任編輯：Leon Yong

source:The School of Life