鑽石舞台

There's a widely-held belief that self-discipline means being able to do something when you don't actually want to do it.

人們普遍認為，自律意味着去做不想做的事情。

People who believe this think that self-discipline means going to the gym, reading books,

持有這一觀點的人認為自律意味着去健身房，看書，

or eating chicken and broccoli when you don't actually want to.

或者吃你並不想吃的雞肉和西蘭花。

For them, self-discipline means ignoring your authentic-self in favor of your ideal-self.

對他們來說，自律意味着忽略真實的自我，而做理想的自我。

But this view of self-discipline is completely deluded.

但這種關於自律的觀點是完全錯誤的。

Imagine that you've been taken prisoner by a criminal.

想象一下，你被一個壞人抓住了。

And the criminal starts making demands of you.

這個壞人指使你做這個做那個的。

He says: Cook me dinner.

他命令你去做飯。

Now clean my house.

他命令你去打掃房子。

Now go sleep in that corner.

他命令你在那個角落裡睡覺。

If you do these things even though you don't want to, if you suppress your authenticity in favor of his ideal, does that make you disciplined?

如果你做了，但是是在你不想做的情況下，如果你為了他的想法而壓抑自己內心的真實感受，這不就是自律的感覺嗎？

Or does it just make you a really good slave?

真的是嗎？還是，讓你成為一個聽話乖巧的好僕人？

An obedient prisoner?

一個順從的囚犯？

And what do you think will happen to you as you live more and more like a prisoner, continuing to do things that you don't want to do?

當你越來越像囚犯一樣生活，繼續做你不想做的事情時，你認為會怎麼樣？

Suppressing your authenticity in favor of his ideal?

為了他人的想法而壓抑你的真實感受？

Will you love your master and be happy?

你會愛你的主人並且感到快樂嗎？

Or will you become resentful, angry, and full of sadness, regretting the life you never got to live?

或者你會變得怨恨，憤怒，充滿悲傷，後悔你本可以過上的另一種人生？

Obviously, the answer is the latter.

顯然，答案是後者。

Suppressing your authenticity comes at a cost.

抑制自我的真實感受是會付出代價的。

I know this from first-hand experience.

我自己就親身經歷過這一點。

There was a time in my life when I lived very inauthentically.

在我的生命中，有一段時間，我整天渾渾噩噩地混日子。

Instead of following my sincere desire to become a psychologist and philosopher, I studied engineering.

我沒有追求成為一名心理學家和哲學家的真誠理想，而是學習了工程學。

I neglected my authentic-self and followed the ideals of society.

我忽略了真實的自我，努力把自己塑造成社會想要的樣子。

I thought I was doing what I should do in order to succeed and be respected by society.

我認為我是在做我應該做的事情，可以取得成功並受到社會的尊重。

And in order to follow society's ideals, I had to repress my authentic-self.

為了聽從社會的要求，我不得不壓抑真實的自我。

I told myself that psychology and philosophy were a waste of time, even though I felt called to study them.

我告訴自己，心理學和哲學是在浪費時間，儘管我覺得有必要去研究它們。

I told myself a life full of money was more important than a life full of purpose.

我告訴自己，一個充滿金錢的生活比一個充滿目標的生活更重要。

And I told myself that society, and the people around me, knew what I should want out of life better than I do.

我告訴自己，社會和我周圍的人比我更清楚我應該從生活中得到什麼。

And by repressing my authentic-self, I became out of touch with my own true feelings, desires, and instincts.

通過壓抑真實的自我，我與自己的真實感受、欲望和本能脫節。

And this loss of connection took a very real toll on my health, causing me to develop lots of GI issues.

這種脫節對我的健康造成了非常嚴重的影響，導致我出現了很多腸胃問題。

For a deeper look at the science behind the connection between authenticity and health, I recommend reading Dr Gabor Mate's new book,

為了更深入地了解真實性和健康之間聯繫背後的科學，我推薦閱讀蓋爾伯博士的這本新書，

The Myth of Normal.

正常的神話。

Suppressing your authenticity will always take a real cost on your health.

壓抑真實的自我會損害自身的身體健康。

Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to do is not self-discipline.

強迫自己做你不想做的事情不是自律。

It's slavery.

這是奴隸制。

And every slave eventually becomes resentful, revengeful, and regretful.

每個奴隸最終都會充滿怨恨、仇恨和悔恨。

Sacrificing your authenticity for society's ideal will make you miserable, not happy.

為了社會的理想而犧牲你真實的自我只會讓你痛苦，而不會讓你快樂。

And no matter how long you force it, you will always eventually fail in the long-run.

無論這種外力施加的時間有多長，從長遠來看，你最終都會失敗。

And that's a good thing too.

這也是一件好事。

Because who wants to live their whole life as a slave?

因為誰願意一輩子做奴隸呢？

So what does it really mean to be self-disciplined?

那麼，自律到底意味着什麼呢？

A truly self-disciplined person is a disciple of themselves.

一個真正自律的人是自己的信徒。

They're an eternal student.

他們永遠都在不斷地學習。

Rather than trying to suppress, repress, control, or force their genuine feelings in a specific direction, they try to understand them.

他們不是試圖壓制、壓抑、控制或強迫他們的真實感受朝着特定的方向發展，而是試圖理解它們。

And through understanding, they learn how to allow their authentic-self to flourish.

通過理解，他們學會了如何讓他們真實的自我蓬勃發展。

And by allowing their authentic-self to flourish, they live lives of wholeness and happiness, not resentment and regret.

通過讓他們真實的自我蓬勃發展，他們過着完整和幸福的生活，而不是充滿着怨恨和後悔。

But how does someone become a disciple of themselves in the first place?

但是，一個人如何才能成為自己的信徒呢？

By discovering their own ideals, not society's.

需要發掘自己的理想，而不是成為社會想讓你成為的樣子。

They follow their own interests and confront the challenges that they personally feel called to confront.

需要追求自己的利益，面對個人認為需要面對的挑戰。

They walk a path that is their own, not the path society has laid out for them.

需要走屬於自己的道路，而不是社會鋪設的道路。

They pursue what they genuinely want, not what society tells them to pursue.

需要追求自己真正想要的，而不是社會要求的。

For the person who becomes a disciple of themselves, self-control is never an issue.

對於成為自己的信徒的人來說，自我控制從來都不是問題。

There are no issues of control.

其實，根本不存在控制的問題。

Because there is nothing to control.

因為沒有什麼可控制的。

They move as one harmonious unit.

他們像一個和諧的整體一樣行動。

If you force yourself to do things you don't want to do, if you follow society's ideal, your ideal-self will repress your authentic-self.

如果你強迫自己做你不想做的事情，如果你追隨社會的理想，你的理想自我將壓抑你的真實自我。

You will become a slave in your own body, and your body will take its revenge.

你將成為一個束縛在空洞的軀殼裡的一個奴隸，你的身體就會向你復仇。

But if you become a disciple of yourself, if you understand your own genuine feelings, desires, and nature, if you discover your own ideal,

但如果你成為自己的信徒，如果你了解自己真實的情感、欲望和自然，如果你發現了自己的理想，

your ideal-self will work harmoniously with your authentic-self to promote growth.

你的理想自我將與你真實的自我和諧合作，促進成長。

So here's the secret to self-discipline.

所以這就是自律的秘訣。

Self-discipline is not about forcing yourself to meet society's ideal, but rather becoming a student of yourself.

自律不是強迫自己達到社會的要求，而是成為自己的信徒。

It's about discovering your own ideal and allowing your authentic-self to flourish.

所以，你需要發現自己的理想，讓真實的自我蓬勃發展。